In Her Image
by Feriku
Summary: After learning about Colette's illness, the group spends the night at Altessa's place. Unable to sleep, Colette goes outside to count the stars, only to find that Mithos couldn't sleep, either. Set partway through the game, but with major spoilers for later parts.
1. Chapter 1: Colette

**In Her Image**

Chapter 1: Colette

Colette stared up at the ceiling of Altessa's house and almost missed the days when she couldn't sleep because of her transformation into an angel. At least that was a physical reason. Being kept awake by her own worries was much worse.

She sat up and tugged aside the edge of her collar. The crystalline substance across her skin looked worse than ever. It didn't help that her secret was out in the open. That just meant everyone would risk their lives to help her. Maybe they wouldn't even be able to cure her in time, and it would all be for nothing.

And she couldn't tell them that. She squeezed her eyes shut. It was hard to keep a smile on her face and pretend nothing was wrong, day after day. Things _were_ wrong, terribly wrong, and the worse they got, the harder it was to pretend.

She'd spent her whole live putting on a brave face in the face of disaster. She was the Chosen, meant to save and protect people. Her friends had enough problems without worrying about her. She had to be strong for them.

But sometimes she wanted to break down and confess how scared she really was. How much more could she take?

Every time she closed her eyes, she thought about death.

Her intended sacrifice as the Chosen of Mana, Cruxis's plans for her, the illness that had overtaken her . . . and on top of all that, the battles they faced every day. It was too much.

No amount of tossing and turning calmed her thoughts. If she made too much noise, she'd wake up the others who lay asleep in the dwarf's guest rooms. Altessa's house wasn't very big.

Then they'd ask what was wrong. The way she felt, she wouldn't be able to keep her fears and worries bottled up inside.

Colette stared at the ceiling, but sleep still refused to come. She sighed and sat up, then rolled out of bed. With a quick glance around to make sure no one else woke up, she tiptoed out of the room.

Kratos may have been their enemy—was he? his actions were so hard to understand—but he'd been right when he told her to count the stars. Even after she regained the ability to sleep, his advice helped her through more than one restless night. She crept to the door of the house and slipped outside.

Cool air blew through her clothes and made her shiver. She rubbed her arms and looked around. Surrounded by mountains, Altessa's house didn't provide the best view of the sky. However, a rocky outcropping just above the roof looked like a great vantage point.

She walked up to it and jumped. Too high. She grabbed the top with her hands and tried to pull herself up. The rough stone grated against her fingers, and she lost her grip and hit the ground. She frowned at the rock wall for a moment and tried to imagine what Lloyd would do. After a moment, she stood and dusted herself off. Then she backed up, got a running start, and jumped at the wall.

A second later, she lay flat on her back. Dazed, she looked up at the night sky and the merciless cliff face.

Then she giggled. Oops. She forgot she could fly. She climbed to her feet and summoned her wings. They sprang from her back in an instant, and she flew up to the top of the mountain ledge.

Up high, she had a much better view of the stars, and the spot at the very edge would be just perfect—except it was already occupied. It seemed she wasn't the only person who had trouble sleeping.

Colette opened her mouth to apologize and leave, but as he turned, the expression on his face was so _sad_ that she couldn't. No matter how bad she felt, she'd be strong for someone else again.

"Mithos?" she asked. "Are you all right?"

The sorrow vanished from his face as if it had never been there. "Fine."

She hesitated, then walked closer and sat beside him. "You couldn't sleep either?"

For a long moment, she didn't think he'd say anything at all, but he finally shook his head and glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "No."

"Were you counting the stars?"

"Why?"

She blinked. "It . . . helps."

"There are too many stars to ever count them all."

"Isn't that the point?" she asked. "Trying takes your mind off your troubles, and then you can fall asleep easier."

His sudden derisive laugh didn't suit the young half-elf at all.

Colette swallowed. Maybe she should have gone back inside when she saw him. It wasn't fair. He opened up to Genis, but his treatment of her bordered on hostility. Maybe he still didn't trust humans . . . but she'd seen him talking to Lloyd, and even Presea.

"I'm sorry if I bothered you," she said in a soft voice. "You looked sad. I thought you might want company."

"I was thinking about my sister."

"O-oh?"

He didn't look at her, but continued to stare out into the night. "She's dead."

Colette put her hand over her mouth. "Oh no, I'm sorry!"

"She was murdered. Right in front of me."

"That's terrible . . . I'm so, so sorry . . ." She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder, but he flinched away. "I didn't mean to pry," she said. "It must be hard to talk about. I understand."

He turned and glared at her. "You do _not_ understand! How could you? You've never lost anyone like that!"

She drew back. Part of her was a little irritated at his presumption—he didn't know her well enough to be sure she didn't have a dead relative—but it was true. "I'm sorry," she said again. "But . . . I think I do understand, a little."

"How?"

He didn't look quite as angry anymore. She took a deep breath. "I grew up knowing I was supposed to die. I would sacrifice myself and become an angel to regenerate the world. It's a scary thing, thinking about your own death . . . but I had enough years to get used to the idea."

Interest gleamed in his eyes, but he didn't say a word.

"As time went on, I stopped worrying so much about my death. What upset me was the thought of my friends. My death would make them suffer. I couldn't stop thinking about it—imagining how they'd react to the news, how they'd grieve, how they'd feel afterwards . . . When I finally left on my journey, I didn't take them with me. I wanted to go with only Raine and Kratos. But then Lloyd and Genis found us, and I started worrying about it all over again." She swallowed and looked down at the ground. "I thought about it so much, I think I know how you feel—not because I lost someone, but because I imagined how my friends would feel when I died."

In the silence that followed, she squeezed her eyes shut to hold back tears.

Mithos's voice was quiet. "But you didn't die."

She looked at him.

He stared back with an unreadable expression on his face. "You were supposed to die, but you didn't. Lloyd placed your life above the safety of the world."

"Lloyd realized there has to be another way." She smiled. "He made me realize that my life is _worth_ something. He gave me a chance to look beyond sacrifice and treasure what I have!"

"My sister deserved that chance, too."

"Of course she did."

"Do you really believe that?" he asked.

"Huh?" What a strange question. "Of course I do." Maybe this came from his fear of prejudice again. "I'm sure she was a wonderful person."

"Wouldn't you give her that chance, if you could?"

Colette stared at him. "But she's dead. Nothing can bring back the dead, Mithos . . ."

The half-elf stared down at his hands. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I asked that. Just forget I said anything."

She touched his shoulder again, and this time he didn't move. "I know it's hard. But this is what we're fighting for—to create a world where people can live in peace, instead of suffering the pain you and your sister did."

"That's impossible."

"No it's not." She looked up at the stars for a moment and thought about Sylvarant, so similar yet so far from them. "If we can reunite the worlds, things will change. Life will become better."

"For you, maybe," he said. "Not for half-elves."

"I believe it will."

"Why?" He propped his chin in his hands and frowned at her. "Humans have hated half-elves for thousands of years, long before Cruxis was created. You can't change that. And aren't _they_ half-elves? What if things are even worse for us if you win?"

Colette took a moment to gather her thoughts. It was a serious question, and she didn't have all the answers, but somehow it felt necessary to convince him that this was for the best. "Where I come from, in Sylvarant, a lot of people hate half-elves because of the Desians, who work for Cruxis. The Desians oppress humans, worse than it is here against half-elves. They have ranches where they torture people and treat them as slaves or livestock. They're cruel and terrible. To a lot of people, that's what half-elves _are_ , and that's why they hate them. If we win, things will improve for half-elves, because Cruxis is making things worse for them."

Mithos jumped to his feet. "That's not true!"

She stood as well and stared at him.

"I, uh . . ." He looked away. "I just find it hard to believe it could be that easy."

"It won't be easy." She folded her hands and looked at the sky. Once, she would have prayed to Martel for guidance. These days, all she could do was hope some benevolent force existed. "It won't happen overnight. But things will get better." She smiled at Mithos. "Once this is over, life will improve for everyone."

"Once it's over . . ."

The wind whipped through Colette, and she shivered. A conversation about the fate of the world wasn't what she intended when she went outside. So many things could still go wrong. She'd never get to sleep after this. She couldn't even focus on counting the stars. Thoughts of the two worlds, the angels, and the long-standing hatred between races intruded when she tried.

It was too much. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she quickly wiped them. She'd be strong. She had to be strong. The others had enough worries of their own, even Mithos . . .

"Are you going to sleep?" he asked softly.

"N-not yet." A hint of her distress crept into her whisper, and she forced a smile so he wouldn't think much of it.

The night sky above them seemed vast and cold. Not at all comforting on this night.

"Colette."

She looked over at Mithos.

"Would you like to go on a walk?"

She stared at him. "Now? Alone? Isn't it dangerous?"

"I've done it many nights when I can't sleep." He spread his arms as if to encompass the area around them. "You'll be in no more danger than you are right here." With a smile, he turned and walked toward the mountains. "Join me if you want."

Uncertain, she watched him walk away. Maybe he did this often, but there were still monsters in the area. If anything happened to him because she let him go alone, Genis would kill her. Besides, she still didn't feel like she could sleep, and counting the stars wasn't working at all. A brisk stroll might be just what she needed.

Colette hurried into the night after Mithos.


	2. Chapter 2: Mithos

Chapter 2: Mithos

Mithos paused on the steep mountain slope as footsteps pounded behind him. He glanced over his shoulder as Colette joined him.

She beamed, eyes bright as if they were on some great adventure. "So where do you usually walk?"

"Just through the mountains," he said.

"Okay."

He started off in one direction, then turned as if at random. A few steps at a time, he gradually guided their progress until they were heading toward the distant Tower of Salvation. Colette followed with a happy smile.

It didn't get any easier than this.

Her obliviousness was actually a little annoying. Not that he _wanted_ her to make things difficult, but they didn't know each other well enough for her to follow him out into the mountains alone at night without complaint. Either Iselia was the safest place in the world, or it was a miracle she'd lived long enough for the Journey of Regeneration.

"It's a beautiful night," she said.

He made a noncommittal noise.

"The air is so clean up here!"

She didn't suspect _anything?_ It didn't even occur to her that a half-elf isolating her when she had enemies among half-elves might be risky? Times like this made him question what Cruxis's marriage program had done to the Chosens' intelligence. The Tethe'alla Chosen didn't exactly inspire confidence either.

Surely it wouldn't affect Martel, though. Her own mind and soul would take over the body.

Colette continued to spout nonsense. "You can see the stars so well—whoops!" With her gaze fixed on the sky, she tripped on the mountain path.

Mithos didn't move in time, and she crashed into him. They tumbled together to the hard surface and rolled down the nearest slope to land in a heap at the bottom. That was another problem . . . and the lack of physical coordination was probably hard-wired into her body.

As Colette disentangled herself from him and dusted off her clothes, it occurred to him that the fall would hurt a regular half-elf. "Ow," he said, far too late, but she didn't seem to notice.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mithos!" She stood and held out her hand to help him up. "Are you all right?"

He hesitated, then accepted her help, even though he didn't need it. "I'm fine."

She smiled and started off again as though nothing happened. She probably fell so often she was used to it. He quickened his pace to reclaim the lead before she took them too far from their goal. She stumbled again as he reached her, though she windmilled her arms and kept her footing.

Yes, it was probably a flaw in the physical composition of the body itself. Pity. Well, if his sister was clumsy, he would guard her every step to make sure she never fell. He'd—

Colette slipped and pitched sideways off a steep rock face.

He grabbed her arm and hauled her up. "Watch where you're going!"

The mountain path made the most sense, due to the short distance, but at this rate she wouldn't make it to Derris-Kharlan in one piece. He looked her over anxiously to make sure she remained undamaged.

"Oops," she said with a giggle. "Sorry about that."

Mithos had a feeling she'd apologize as she plummeted off a cliff to her doom. "Be careful."

"I will, I'm sorry."

"And stop apologizing."

She laughed. "You sound just like Lloyd."

Great.

Despite the urgency, he set off again at a slower pace. It wouldn't prevent her from tripping, but at least he'd have enough time to catch her before she broke something.

"Tethe'alla is such a wonderful place," she said, eyes half closed. "I'm glad I didn't do anything to hurt it, even if it means Sylvarant has to suffer a little longer."

He gritted his teeth. Her single-minded optimism about their ill-guided mission would drive him crazy. But he forced a smile onto his face. He couldn't drop the act until they were closer to the Tower.

As she continued to babble about the beauty of the universe, he sent out a pulse of mana—a tiny one, not enough for her to notice, but enough to keep monsters away. If danger arose, she might want to turn back. He couldn't allow that when he was so close to having Martel back.

Something deep inside of him twisted. At least as the Chosen, she knew she was going to die. It seemed unfair to make her walk toward destruction with a clueless smile on her face. She thought she was out for a walk . . . with a friend.

But it was no more unfair than the day humans stole his sister's life.

Though that made him the counterpart to the human murderer. That wasn't right. It was how _they_ viewed him, Lloyd and Colette and all of them— _even Genis?_ —but only because they didn't understand. If he could make them understand . . . if they would stop opposing him . . .

"Is something wrong?" Colette asked.

He jumped. While he was lost in his thoughts, she'd stopped her nonsense. He met her worried gaze. "I just . . ."

"What is it?" she asked.

"What if you're wrong?" Before she could protest or repeat her impossible theory about how his plans made life worse for half-elves, he pressed on. "What if you can't save both worlds?"

"Lloyd will find a way."

"Your last attempt almost killed me."

Her eyes widened and she looked down at her feet. "I—"

The thought of how he risked his own life to protect Tabatha rankled him, but at least it made Colette feel guilty. "What if," he said softly, "it turns out you have to die after all? That there is no other way?"

She met his gaze. "I . . ." Her lip quivered, but she took a deep breath. "I'd do it. If it was the only way, I wouldn't put my own life above the fate of the world. But," she said with a pained laugh, "please don't tell Lloyd I said that."

"I won't."

"Thank you."

It was suddenly difficult to look into her wide, innocent eyes. That she was still willing to sacrifice herself should have been a good thing, but her selflessness made his actions seem . . . not wrong, no, it wasn't wrong to want Martel back. Yet Colette would recoil from him if she knew who he really was, and he struggled to hate her for it.

He clenched his fists and walked faster. Stop. He couldn't feel sympathy for Colette. Even thinking of her as _Colette_ was dangerous. She was the Chosen. Better yet, Martel's vessel. Nothing more.

The vessel frowned at him. "Conversations like this aren't going to help us sleep. I'm sorry."

Why was she apologizing when he'd brought it up? He shook his head and glanced toward the Tower. Closer, much closer. He wouldn't have to endure this for long.

"Are you going to come with us after we reunite the worlds?"

He frowned at her. "Come with you where?"

"Anywhere." She smiled. "It'll be safer, then. You can come with us wherever we go. I know Genis would like that."

"I would too."

It wasn't a lie. If he could abandon everything and be the friend they thought he was . . . for the short time they traveled together, it felt nice to be part of a group again. Accepted by all of them, even the humans. They named him a friend without a second thought. That sort of unconditional acceptance was rare.

Part of him hated to lose it. To lose _them._

Especially Genis. Although he tried to shift Genis's loyalty, he couldn't deny the truth. No matter how close of friends they became, the boy would never side with _Lord Yggdrasill_. Genis would reject him.

If things were different . . . but no. Mithos's path was set. Martel needed him, and it would be selfish of him to abandon her and her final wish.

"Oh!"

At the vessel's sharp exhalation, he looked up. She'd stopped on the mountain slope, her gaze fixed on the Tower of Salvation.

It was time.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

He could overpower her before she understood what happened. They were close enough. But it would be better to let her realize. Let suspicion darken her trusting gaze, let her turn on him before he claimed her for Martel.

"We're close to the Tower of Salvation." She shrank back. "Do you think the angels can see us?"

"Maybe."

"Don't worry." She shifted to stand in front of him. "I'll protect you."

It was almost funny. He could imagine the look on his legions' faces if they arrived to ambush the Chosen and found her prepared to defend him.

"Should we run?" he asked.

The shake of her head was almost imperceptible. "We'd lead them straight to Altessa. We can't do that."

That strange sensation twisted inside him again. When she said things like that, she seemed so noble and selfless. Like Martel.

"Mithos?"

"Yes?"

"If the angels come, run back to Altessa's place as fast as you can. I'll hold them off."

"All ri—wait, _what_?" He stared at her. That couldn't possibly be her plan. "Why?"

"You can get help," she said. "They won't follow you. I'm the one they want."

"Exactly. That's why you should run while I distract them. You're the important one."

"Important?" A bitter note entered her voice. "To what, Cruxis's plans? If I sacrifice you to save my own life, Yggdrasill deserves to win."

Mithos took a step back.

"If I can't protect people like you," she said, "then what are we fighting for?"

"People like me?"

"Innocents."

He looked into her trusting blue eyes, then quickly averted his gaze. There was no doubt in her face or voice. Not for one moment did she consider that he'd betrayed her. She was ready to give herself up for him. Even though he was a half-elf. Even though she barely knew him.

When she acted like that, betraying her felt like betraying Martel.

"Let's go," he said.

"Huh?"

"They haven't seen us, or they'd be here by now. Let's _go._ " He spun around and started back through the mountains toward Altessa's place. If she didn't want to follow, fine. She could get herself captured without his help.

It was, in fact, far too soon to take her to Derris-Kharlan. Her sudden appearance that night made him react without thinking things through.

First, her illness needed to be cured. It was easier to let Lloyd and the others collect the ingredients. No sense in wasting Cruxis's time and resources on a task their enemies wanted to complete. Second, he didn't know for sure if Kratos was the source of the leaks or if they had another traitor. He wasn't finished with Lloyd's group yet.

Those were the reasons. The _only_ reasons.

Colette was subdued on the return trip, thank goodness. He couldn't muster the energy to talk to her anymore. Even as he repeated in his mind the true reasons he turned back, he couldn't stop thinking about the way she trusted him and how much like his sister she seemed.

When they reached Altessa's house, she smiled. "I'm tired after that walk. You were right. I'll be able to sleep now."

He didn't answer, but walked inside with her in silence.

"Good night," she whispered. "Thank you." She hugged him, then tiptoed back to the guest room.

Mithos let out a low hiss through his teeth as she disappeared. What a fool he was. He wouldn't get a chance like that again in a thousand years. Martel's vessel, alone with him and vulnerable. Everything he wanted within reach, and he refused it.

Not for any of those practical reasons he told himself, but for sentiment. Because her innocence and attempted friendship struck something inside him.

"If I didn't need you," he whispered into the dark after her, "I'd kill you right now for making me show such weakness."

"IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, MITHOS?" Tabatha's monotone echoed from Altessa's workshop, and the doll stepped into view.

Mithos stared at the floor. He couldn't bear to look at another face so like Martel's. "Everything's fine."

"I AM GLAD."

He should have let Tabatha die. Should have let the rocks fall on her and crush her mockery from existence. But again, he'd been weak. Twice, he fell prey to someone who reminded him of Martel.

By the time he walked back to the area of the house where he feigned sleep, he shook with rage at himself. Weak! No more. The next time he had the Chosen within reach, he wouldn't falter.

"I won't fail you again, Martel. I swear it."

* * *

 _Author's note: I wrote this short fanfic because after I finished_ Tales of Symphonia _(it's my new obsession, as anyone who has talked to me since then probably knows), I wondered why Mithos never tried this. One of the things I found most fascinating about his character is how conflicted he seems, despite his single-minded determination. Deep inside, part of him knows he's wrong, but he can't-or won't-admit it. I tried to capture that when writing from his point of view._

 _I hope you enjoyed this story, and I'd like to thank my friend Stein999 on DeviantArt for the great cover art._


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